If 2 a.m. feedings and moody teenagers aren’t already keeping parents awake at night, there are always parenting experts to worry about. At least those who convince moms and dads that they are raising a generation of dropouts, deadbeats and drug addicts.

But if it seems that we are living in a golden age of parental guilt and conflicting advice, it is nothing new. From the Victorians to Spock to Brazelton, the accepted wisdom in child rearing has often been attacked.

That may be little solace to today’s parents. Many ? spurred on by guilt and expert advice ? strive to stimulate, praise and otherwise obsessively hover over their young ones at all times. Lisa Belkin of The Times calls it “my-own-mother-never-breastfedme- so-I-am-never-going-to-let-mykid- out-of-my-sight parenting.” But the latest wave of experts argues that this hyper-vigilance is itself harmful.

One book, “The Idle Parent: Why Less Means More When Raising Kids,” by Tom Hodgkinson, features cover art showing Mom and Dad sipping martinis as their toddler mixes the next round. Another writer, Lenore Senazy, argues for a return to “free range” parenting that is not rooted in fear.

Ms. Belkin summed up the philosophy: “Pay attention to your own needs, back off on your children and everyone will be happier and better adjusted.”

Just don’t give your toddler too many compliments for those bartending skills. In “Nurtureshock: New Thinking About Children,” Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman castigate modern parents for, among other things, too much praise. As the Times Book Review wrote, they believe that overpraise will “ deprive a child of motivation and discourage persistence.”

And in case any families are already underparenting, they can share in the guilt as well. A new study from Columbia University in New York shows that teenagers who sit down to meals with their families less than three times a week are more likely to turn to drugs and alcohol than those who eat with their families five times a week.

As Jan Hoffman wrote in The Times, “like breastfeeding and Baby Mozart tapes, family dinner has become a red-hot item on the goodparent scorecard, by which mothers in particular judge one another and themselves.”

But skip those Baby Mozart and Baby Einstein tapes. Facing lawsuits, the Walt Disney Company has admitted that the best-selling DVDs and CDs do not increase intelligence, as previously advertised, and will pay a refund to anyone who says they bought one.

If all this confusing advice drives some stressed-out parents to yell and scream there are studies on that, too. One showed that while most American parents pride themselves on not spanking, 88 percent admitted to unleashing verbal broadsides at their children.

“My bottom-line recommendation is don’t yell,” Ronald P. Rohner, a professor of family studies at the University of Connecticut, told Hillary Stout of The Times. “It is a risk factor for a family.”

Staying cool amid a toddler or teen rampage is easier said than done, Ms. Stout admitted. But she added that experts suggest figuring out ways to avoid situations that contribute to making you yell.

Like, perhaps, listening to experts.

Modern parents
have to juggle advice on all aspects of child rearing, including when and where to eat. / SCOTT DALTON FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES